Surreal life

Ben is in the hospital. He was admitted on Sunday, March 11 for excruciating pain in his liver and a high fever.

The last MIBG scan showed that the neuroblastoma has infiltrated his liver and is basically making it unable to function. The cancer has also caused issues with his lungs and intestines. Essentially, Ben’s body is shutting down.

This is surreal because, as I write this post, Ben is wide awake and alert. He’s playing a video game like he usually does. Hes joking with us. Talking with his sister. All the stuff a normal 16 year old does.

Of course, there is a touch of angst in the air as Ben starts on the last possible option for his cancer which probably won’t do much but slow things down. We should know more by Friday what is happening but the odds are not in Ben’s favor.

14 years and countless rounds of chemo, radiation and other experimental treatments have taken their toll. His body, wracked by scoliosis, kidney issues and scores of other things, is just plain worn out.

His brain, on the other hand, is fully functioning. He remains the intelligent, even wise, 16 year old we’ve loved since he was born.

This, again, is very surreal. Watching Ben be somewhat normal all while succumbing to cancer is excruciating.

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